5 Women who Made Me

5 Women who Made Me

Friday, January 12, 2018

Hi guys, and Happy New Year!

I'm so buzzed to get up my first post of 2018-which in hindsight should have been this one but I got trigger happy and posted it early, so here we are!

When I first sat down to think about all the women who have shaped the person I have become, I was pleasantly surprised by the amount of amazing women I could conjure up off the top of my head.
Then I remembered that this post was supposed to be the first in a series of "Top 5's" and I was going to have to figure out which 5 had made the biggest impact, over the course of my 30 years. That's when it all became a lot more difficult. I got there in the end though, and I can't wait to introduce you (in chronological order) to the 5 Women who Made Me.

30 Years to Know Me

30 Years to Know Me

Sunday, July 16, 2017

The funny thing about getting older is it's almost always a catalyst for reflection. I don't know if it's because I finally hit the big 30- honestly an age I wasn't even sure I'd make it to at one point- or if I'm just feeling particularly introspective at the moment, but for whatever reason I sat down on my break at work a few weeks ago and just started trying to figure out who I am. Now don't read that and think "Uh-oh is AJ about to pack in her job and go all "Eat, Pray, Love" on us?" I can promise you that while I would love to spend my days communing with nature, and smoking weed I have no plans to in the near future. But I do want, for lack of a better phrase, "to find myself". 

Five Things I Wish We Could Leave in 2016

Five Things I Wish We Could Leave in 2016

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Well it's been a pretty shitty year hasn't it!?!

2016 shall forever be remembered as the year all the legends went home, people collectively lost their damn minds (all around the world), and everybody just couldn't wait for it to be over. So I've got a really happy favourites from 2016 post coming asap but first I want to share with you all the things I wish we could just leave in 2016, if you please.

I Like Big Books and I Cannot Lie

I Like Big Books and I Cannot Lie

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

"To read is to learn, to learn is to know"-AJ Wathern or THE BOOKS THAT MADE AJ FEEL THINGS 

The Classics

Sisterhood of the World Award // Tag

Sisterhood of the World Award // Tag

Friday, June 26, 2015

Big shout out to the beautiful Sofie from It's Just Sofie, for nominating me for The Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award! I do love a good question and answer session so this one put a huge smile on my face, huge thank you for that. 

Rules of the award

Answer the 10 questions set for you, and remember to thank the lovely blogger who nominated you

Set 10 questions of your own

Nominate up to 10 of your favourite bloggers

Sofie's Questions

What do you love most about blogging?

As you may have noticed I've been a bit AWOL from blogging at the moment and that is simply because I'd lost my way. I'd forgotten why I started, I'd forgotten what I loved about it, and I had started to do what I thought was expected of me instead of what I wanted to do. But this wee break has helped me remember that I love blogging because I love to write, it is that simple. I love to rant, I love to let people know what I think about the things I fill my life with, and I love to just sit down at my computer (or with my notebook) and watch the words flow out of me. 

What's your favourite experience ever?

Without a doubt being married! It started with the most relaxed and totally "us" wedding ceremony ever (which by the way included sand in my toes, Disney music and the awkward moment my dear husband couldn't get the ring on my finger) and it has developed every day since. When you get married people always ask "Does it feel any different?" and in a major way it really doesn't, BUT in those small, almost imperceptible ways, those tiny moments and realisations it feels amazing. No fleeting experience can ever compare to the experience of being married to your favourite person (that isn't my father :-p) in the world. 

If you were a Disney Princess who would you be?

Argh! Aurora or Rapunzel, Rapunzel or Aurora?? I just don't know. Although Rapunzel has a chameleon and a horse, so yeah probably Rapunzel.

What country do you really want to travel to?

Can I say, all of them? Ha, I guess if I really had to pick just one it would be the United States because each State is different and there are so many things I want to visit, and photograph, and do. So yeah if i'm being smart about it it's the US but if I was to say it off the top of my head it would be the Maldives. 

Online shopping or real shopping?

Real shopping every damn time. Strangely though I don't like the actual act of shopping, but I do like buying new things lol. 

What is your dream job?

I've had many dream jobs throughout my life but one constant has always been that I want to write. It is my biggest passion and If I could make a living off it I would be in heaven. Sadly though it's not that easy to just become a bestseller so right now I'm dreaming of becoming a teacher. 

If your life were a book or a movie what would the title be? 

I always joke that my life story would be called "WTF Just Happened??" I was going to try and come up with something more intelligent but screw it, live is a series of crazy events and questionable choices so yeah we're sticking with "WTF Just Happened??"

Best sing-a-long song?

Oh my God!! I am a singer this is difficult! I sing along to bloody everything, not always in tune I'll admit but most of the time I like to think I'm nailing it. My go to drunken party rousing tune is Build Me Up Buttercup so let's go with that shall we.

Best Chick-Flick?

Dirty Dancing! Has anybody ever answered this question differently? If they have sit them down and make them watch it over and over until they realise the error of their ways. 

Describe yourself in one word!

Loving <3

Well, that was fun! Now I have to think of 10 questions (I'm avoiding the nominating part for as long as possible)...

Do you identify as a feminist-What does feminism mean to you?

What would a scented candle named after you smell like?

What is the theme tune of your life?

If you could only read one more book for the rest of your life what would it be?

If you were on Death Row what would you want for your last meal?

Who is your hero?

You have a whole day to yourself- what are you doing?

Keanu Reeves or Johnny Depp?

What is the number 1 thing you want to do before you die?

What do you think is the most interesting fact about you? 

Right then, my nominees are:

Chantel from Bonnie Blondie

Chelsea from Chelsea Potter

Kirsty from Kirsty Ralph

Estelle from Let Me Go XO

Katy from The Lilac Scrapbook

Sammy from Little Fickle

Hayley from It's Just Me Hayley D

Fiona from Wishes, Hopes & Dreams

Have fun ladies and remember and tag me on Twitter with your links once you've done your post. 

Much Love 

AJ 

XX

The Monthly Rant // Gender Stereotyping // Angry Blogger

The Monthly Rant // Gender Stereotyping // Angry Blogger

Wednesday, April 01, 2015

Every now and again I like to have a good old rant! Who doesn't, right? Ranting allows us to take all those minor irritations that build up, each and every day, and throw them away. Granted when I through away my irritations they almost always land on the blog, but that's what it's here for right!

So what am I ranting about today? Gender-bloody-bias!

I've always had an issue with the whole gender-specific theme that runs through our society- in fact when I was younger and got treated to a Happy Meal, I would always ask for the Hot Wheels toy instead of Polly Pocket! At that young age I was already outraged by that little girls automatically got given tiny (swallowable) dolls that didn't do anything, whilst the boys were given a bloody racecar- where's the fairness in that??

This sense of injustice never got any better as I got older- now I know some of you are thinking "Oh you were just a bit of a tomboy" but I truly wasn't! I loved being the pretty girl, with the long blonde curls, and a face full of make-up. I enjoyed trotting off to ballet classes, going ice skating, attending theatre groups and singing Whitney at the top of my voice (all things which are, annoyingly 'traditionally' feminine past-times) but you better believe that I wanted to fight this theory of gender bias at every opportunity.

Sorry about the dodgy quality but this photo was taken in 1992!!!

I think that photo illustrates my point about me being a girly girl ^^^. I don't have many photos of me from my teen years because quite honestly I hated my face, hair, body etc and avoided cameras like the plague! But believe me, it was all sparkly dresses, butterfly tops (stolen from my sister) and pink cowboy hats to under 18s discos at the local nightclub.
We've got the point now right? I wasn't a tomboy I just didn't believe I should have or do something just because I was born with two X chromosomes!

When it was time to buy new ice skates, all my girlfriends went out and bought pretty white figure skates, with swirly pink blade guards, whereas I, in a spoilt manner I can only apologise to my parents for, demanded CCM 52s like the professional hockey players wore! When it came to choosing subjects at high school the first elective I chose was graphic communication because someone automatically suggested home economics! I don't know who exactly I was fighting against, but fighting I was.

I'd done such a good job of making choices that made me happy for me, and not made me happy because I had boobs (which in all fairness I really didn't) that I made it all the way to University before this particular bullshit issue reared its ugly head again- so I'm fighting back now!

Here comes the stream of rantiness...

Shrink it a Pink it? Bullshit! Lady Geek? What about a revolutionary idea of just GEEK?Technology, science & all things geeky should not be marketed to men and boys, they should be marketed to anybody with an inquiring mind!

Women do not need their own special pen! We are not weak wristed, gentle fingered, fainting prone, problems for society to solve. We are strong, ballsy, unique humans, born to innovate- just like men!!

If I want to surprise my husband, by shooting him in the back of the head with a foam projectile, I'll do it with my 6-cartridge NERF gun, and not a purple and pink version with a smaller design.

If I decide to wear a football shirt, down the pub, to watch Liverpool kick Manchester United's ass, I will do so, whilst drinking a pint of Carling!  This doesn't make me a "dyke" as more than one guy had proclaimed in the past, it simply means that I wanted to wear my team colours while having a bloody drink!!

If my husband wants to use a face scrub and wear a pink shirt he should bloody well be able to, without being called a "faggot" (which by the way is a fucking horrible word!)

 If I want to sing Meatloaf at karaoke I'm going to, and I'll probably be followed by Damian and Nico and their epic rendition of Barbie Girl...because gender stereotypes be damned!!

I hope by now you'll all be nodding along in agreement, but it appears that the toy companies, magazines, and clothes manufacturers just aren't getting it!

Where are the woman football players in 4-4-2 magazine? Why aren't things like the Women's World Cup covered in the sports pages? Where are the men's beauty and skincare products in Boots magazine- or any magazine that isn't FHM or GQ, for that matter? Where are the fast as fuck, beautifully built cars in the likes of Cosmo or Glamour? Why should I have to buy 5 different magazines a month just to see everything that interests me? Is it any wonder more of us are turning to blogs to get our fix? AND why the fuck are there still products on the shelves like, Stickers for Girls and Stickers for Boys?

I can't be the only one that this bothers? As we embark on our journey of starting a family, this issue is once again at the forefront of my mind, and you bet your ass our children will be raised in a gender neutral environment. Now don't get me wrong, if my daughter wants to dress up as a princess and cover herself in glitter she will be allowed, but at the same time if we have a son and he wakes up one day and decides he wants to be princess then he will be allowed to too!

This whole article has reminded me of that old poem, we all surely heard as children-

"1. What are little boys made of? 

What are little boys made of? 

Slugs and snails and puppy-dog's tails, 

And that are little boys made of. 

2. What are little girls made of? 

What are little girls made of? 

Sugar and spice and all that's nice, 

And that are little girls made of. 

3. What are young men made of? 

What are young men made of? 

Sighs and leers, and crocodile tears, 

And that are young men made of. 

4. What are young women made of? 

What are young women made of? 

Ribbons and laces, and sweet pretty faces, 

And that are young women made of."

- Baby's Opera by Walter Crane

Sounds like this is what society is still basing gender preference on? This was written in 1877- have things really not changed since then??

Does this annoy you as much as it does me? Or do you disagree with me? I'd love to hear your opinions in the comments. 

And remember I'm on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Bloglovin so come join me :-).

Much Love

AJ 

xx

Woman Crush Wednesday // Angelina Jolie

Woman Crush Wednesday // Angelina Jolie

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

My little sister suggested Angelina Jolie for my first WCW and she's bloody right! Not only is Angelina stunningly beautiful but she is also an amazing woman. Let;s look at the facts shall we:

Angelina is an Oscar winning actress for her appearance in Girl Interrupted.

She is a UN Goodwill Ambassador.

She is a staunch advocate of women's rights.

She is a kick-ass director, with films like In the Land of Blood and Honey and Unbroken.

She juggles a family with SIX children, with all her other commitments...yeah she has nannies but christ on a bike that is some achievement.

She loves to get involved in politics.

She campaigns for women affected by rape.

She has started a number of charities including the Maddox Jolie-Pitt foundation, and Education Partnership for Children of Conflict, among others.

She is dedicated to environmental conservation.

She regularly puts herself in danger in order to aid people in countries which are experiencing unrest- be it political or natural.

She travelled to Haiti, with Brad, whilst pregnant in order to help those displaced by the earthquake.

She took the very brave step to undergo a double mastectomy when she discovered she carried the BRCA1 gene. Her very open interviews about this helped bring to light exactly what millions of women go through, and exactly what measures can be taken.

Oh and did I mention that three of her six children were adopted, saved from hard lives in horrendous conditions, and given a chance in life that many take for granted.

And finally...after a friend pointed it out to me on Twitter, I realised that I had to add in this:
She is fully supportive of her young daughter identifying as a boy. Shiloh Pitt has been seen dressed in masculine clothing as early as 2010, it is well documented that she asked her parents to treat her as one of the boys, and most recently we have been let in on the fact that she no longer wants to be called Shiloh and has chosen John instead, And the Jolie-Pitt's are open about it, caring, and completely onboard. Whether this is just a phase (which is what some child psychologists are claiming), or John will actually grow up to identify as a male, or even gender neutral, you get the sense that Angelina will be 110% behind him.

Angelina truly is an inspiration, and you can read some of the reasons why here.

I believe that Angelina fully deserves her place on my list of Woman Crushes, don't you? Let me know what you think of my first choice, and maybe suggest future subjects for WCW, in the comments or on Twitter :-).

You can read all about what I am trying to do with these Woman Crush Wednesday posts here.

Woman Crush Wednesday!

Woman Crush Wednesday!

Sunday, March 08, 2015

I'm sitting here on International Women's Day (8th of March) thinking that maybe we should look closer to home when asking for solidarity in this equal rights movement. Of course I am not saying that we shouldn't be encouraging men to stand up and fight alongside us, of course we should, men should be our biggest allies, but there are so many women out there that need to be brought on side too!

Women need to be their own biggest cheerleaders, women need to stop allowing feminists to be tarred with the "batty, braless, barren women with an axe to grind" brush, women need to be nicer to each other, women are going to be the change.

Now I am not here saying that all women must love all other women because that is just not realistic. Some women are horrible, some women just have different views in life, and some women just don't get on, that's life it's the same for men too! However, I am saying that we need to start being nicer to each other, in general. If we as women are constantly tearing each other down then how can we ever expect the rest of the world to take us seriously?

It is with this in mind that I have decided to add another new series to the blog. I hope you have all heard of WCW- Woman Crush Wednesday- essentially it's another popular hashtag on Twitter/Instagram etc, in the same vain as Throwback Thursday. The onus being that one Wednesdays you share a picture or whatever of the woman you are crushing on that day! Simple really, and this hashtag is regularly full of scantily clad women, just doing their thing, and being lauded for being beautiful.

Well in my world Woman Crush Wednesday is about to get way better...because I pledge that my Inductees into the Love and OAS WCW Hall of Fame, will be included not just for their beauty, but for their brains, their politics, their hard work and their all round awesome womanness!

I'm really excited to start this series and hope you all tune in for it. Now if you excuse me I'm off to figure out who my first inductee should be, if you have any suggestions please do leave me a comment!

Much Love
AJ xx

Making Unthinkable anti-feminist choices!

Making Unthinkable anti-feminist choices!

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Now I have a bit of a reputation for being a bit "ranty" but what other people call ranty I like to define as passionate! I could go on a rant about the use of the word "ranty" itself, I could point out that much like it's cousins "bossy" and "bitchy" it is most often used to refer to a woman. I could point out that it is the type of word that belittles the entire point of an impassioned speech or viewpoint, and I could point out that it is just a bloody stupid word, but that's not what this post is about. This post is about something that came to my attention yesterday, something that truly annoyed me and made me want to fight my corner, and the corner of those who may not have a platform to fight their own. Today's post is about a response to an "article" written by one Polly Hudson in The Mirror newspaper...read it here if you wish

Now as you probably know I am getting married this year, in 19 days actually (exciting stuff!!) and apparently one decision I have taken in the lead up to my marriage is shockingly sexist and very anti-feminist of me! Yes dear readers I am taking my husband's surname! Not that shocking right? I would hope it wasn't that shocking, in fact the thought of my decision being anything other than completely natural bemuses me. But Polly Hudson seems to think that I am less of a feminist for making this decision, she seems to think that I haven't thought it through and that in fact my whole wedding is just a lesson in bowing to patriarchal ideals left over from a bygone age. And in response I couldn't help but ask "Is she for real?". 

Ms Hudson assumes that all of us brides that are taking our husbands' name are just doing it blindly without a second thought, because it is the done thing. She also calls it basically medieval, I wonder where she studied History because if that's her takeaway from Medieval studies I'd be worried she wasn't getting a well rounded education. 

I can't speak for all brides but I can assure you that there was A LOT of discussion around this name change issue, I was worried my family name would disappear if I didn't carry it on, but there are many many more cousins who can further our family name, so why should the task fall to me? I was also worried that I would lose my identity if I gave away my name so easily, and then I remembered that our identities are tied up in what we consume, what we believe and who we are, NOT what name we write on documents.  We discussed a double barrel compromise but come on Amanda-Jaied McCahery-Wathern is just bloody ridiculous!! But in the end the decision to become Amanda-Jaied Wathern was simple, I'm not taking my husband's name to bow down to him as my superior, I am not taking my husband's name because he said I had to, I am taking my husband's name because I want to! I want the world to know that I am married to that gentleman that just held the door open for me, I want the world to know that the happy guy that just made me piss myself laughing over something only we find funny is mine forever, I want to get that warm fuzzy feeling every time I write my new name and remember that a great man loves me enough to want to put up with me forever, and finally I want me, my husband and our children to be one unit, with one shared surname. This does not make me a bad feminist, this does not make me a dipsy woman that doesn't understand the choices I make in life, this simply makes me an ecstatically happy, future Mrs Wathern.

I think Polly Hudson should remember that feminism is not about bashing men, and fighting them every step of the way but instead it should be about giving women the freedom to make any choice that may impact on their lives. By writing a piece that belittles these choices and tries to make us feel bad for making them she is showing herself to be one of the worst kinds of feminists...the kind that believes that only her choice is the choice other feminists should be making. 

And one final thing she should probably think about is, if someone, somewhere along her family line hadn't done the unthinkable and taken their husband's name she wouldn't be the Polly HUDSON we are responding to today.