Living with...Fibro

Living with...Fibro

Saturday, January 12, 2019

Living with Fibromyalgia...the number one point: don't expect people to know what the hell you are talking about when you tell them you have fibromyalgia! It is such a complicated illness that many doctors don't even understand it. It took years, and a heap of different doctors, and misdiagnoses for me to finally get an answer as to what was wrong with me. And when I did find out all I learned was that there is no cure, painkillers are basically all the doctor can give you-and if you have a metabolism like mine they do bugger all! So buckle up for a list of things that flew through my head when I asked myself the question: What is it like living with fibromyalgia?

My Phototherapy Experience

My Phototherapy Experience

Friday, December 08, 2017

Okay now we have that ^^^ out of the way it's time to dive in to my round up of how I got on with phototherapy.

Living With...Anxiety

Living With...Anxiety

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Hi dolls,

I have 3 different notebooks lying around me right now, all 3 have lists, ideas, first drafts, second drafts, and scribbles all over them. All 3 are my blog post notebooks and not one has a finished post inside!
At the start of December, I relaunched and I was finally happy with my design and layout (and I still am, I really totally do love it) I had so many plans, and I couldn't wait to get writing and publishing, but every single time I sat down to write I failed to finish a single fucking paragraph!!!

NEWSFLASH!!!

In a stunning twist, it's not even that old cow Writer's Block that is stopping me. Nope, this time, it's this new bitch in town- Anxiety!

I know, I know, "Anxiety" is a word bandied about the Twittersphere like a badge of honour nowadays- but bitches be crazy if they think it's some cool new accessory. Anxiety can't be taken off and put on a shelf next to your marble vinyl paper and blog props, until the next time you want to be "just like Zoella"! I could tell you what anxiety actually is BUT it's different for everyone, and everybody has a different way of explaining it to others- here is my way...

Things My Anxiety has told Me This Year

 (in this scenario my anxiety is a skinny blonde bitch, that looks a little like my school bully)

• Bitch do you really think you're funny? Chlamydia gets more laughs!
• Why bother writing it? Literally nobody gives a shit! 
• Your friends legit think you are a total bitch-say nice things to keep them around- for now!
• Why would Damian love you? You are a mean, narky, temperamental cow!
• Oh, and BTW you should not be wearing those jeans...can you say thunder thighs? Fat bitch!
• Yup, that guy is definitely going to kill you. He's not really heading to work, he's got a cellar where he's going to chop you up into little pieces. 
• Seriously EVERYBODY is looking at you- I bet it's because of that ugly scar on your nose- that guy (on the other side of the road) he sees it and he is disgusted.
• You know you're getting old right? 
• You're NEVER going to be a mum.
• You'd be a shit mum anyway!
• Although you couldn't be any worse than you are at being a wife.
• This lift is going to break down, nobody is going to care enough to look for you, you are going to have a panic attack and die in this metal and glass coffin.
• Just stop trying- it's pathetic.
• Why would they promote you?
• That person behind you IS going to kidnap you- for real.
• Nobody is going to pay the ransom.
• You looked shit on your wedding day.
• You look shit today too, and tomorrow probably.
• Your husband is repulsed by your skin and scars.
• He legit doesn't find you attractive.
• If you eat that you WILL choke and die.
• That pain IS a heart attack- you are going to die right here.
• You're going to get sacked any day now because you're shit at your job as well as everything else.
• If you go to sleep I'm going to give you that nightmare again.
• If you go to sleep I'm going to make you miss your alarm. miss work, and lose your job.
• If you go to sleep you are NEVER going to wake up.
• He sleeps better without you there anyway.
• It's cancer/fibromyalgia//MS/other horrible illness
• You think you've got style? You look like a hippo that shops in trash cans.
• Why bother moving today.
• Why bother blogging? Shut it all down.
• Why bother doing anything?

I could go on and on but this is already longer than I planned so I'll stop here with the things anxiety has told me this month. I know most of these things seem irrational (except maybe the not being funny thing) but in the moment I believe them all, and that is why I've decided 2016 is going to be the year that I defeat this stupid blonde bitch!- Wish me luck!!

Thanks for reading, and please have a gentle new year.

Much Love

AJ

xx

Living With... // Part One

Living With... // Part One

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Hi guys, welcome to the first part of the new Living With...section of Love and OAS!!

From here on out you can expect a mixture of the serious and the sassy, the funny and the fabulous. Basically, you might find one post makes you think a little differently that day, whilst the next one just makes you piss yourself laughing (a girl can dream that others find her funny right?). Either way I hope you find every post in this section informative and/or entertaining.

Right, now that the boring intro part is over are you ready for my take on Living With... A BOY!!

• Boys smell different! Sometimes this is a good thing- I get it sometimes that natural musk is a beautiful unnaturally good smell, most of the time though *eesh*! Are their diets to blame? I know us ladies all smell of roses and sunshine. But boys? Boys smell of dirt, and sulphur, and death. It is horrendous, and they take pride in it! Don't ever give a boy a dirty look for farting, it only makes them prouder. Disgusting creatures!

• Boys snore, LOUDLY! *Admission time* I snore too I'll be honest about that, but "some" boys snore so loudly that they sound like a walrus- if that walrus was being whipped while eating a train, as it thundered through your bedroom. 

• Boys are creatures of habit. He will have a seat (usually claimed on moving day) and this seat will become his home. Things will begin to erupt around this seat, all things will be within hands reach, never further. Mess will pile up around this seat and continue to accumulate until you finally give in and clear it up. NEVER sit on his seat, he will know!

• Boys are blind to mess (see above point)- they are NOT however deaf, so nag the fuck out of them! Nagging has been scientifically proven to be the only cure to mess-blindness.

• Socks multiply around boys- one thinks they must secrete a strange pheromone that only socks can smell- unfortunately this secret pheromone does not yet have the ability to lure said socks into the actual bloody sock drawer. Thus you will find socks absolutely everywhere, I'm serious I found two down the side of my toilet last week!!!

• Boys have drawers full of DVD's and computer games. Boys also have Netflix and haven't touched those DVD's in MONTHS! Boys also don't realise that this drawer space is the perfect place for the expanding candle collection we cultivate to eradicate the bloody smell!!

• Boys think lifting their feet up while you clean around them is acceptable! Boys, if you are reading this the CORRECT response is "can I help?"

• Boys do not understand how important homeware, and interior design can be. They think "whichever you like, babe, I don't care" is a legit response! They think chuckling at your uhmming and aahing over two kinds of similar BUT not actually at all similar cushions, is CUTE! They are fucking annoying...

• Boys will cuddle with you if you are having one of those "I don't know what's wrong, just ignore me crying at an Andrex advert" moments.

• They have this weird shower gel stuff that tingles, seriously steal it once and then buy your own thereafter! It's so much fun.

• They have these amazing aftershaves and colognes that smell strong, and manly, and sexy all at once. This point is the main reason I almost exclusively smell of AQVA by Bulgari.

• Boys like to show off so at least you will always be amused. 

• Boys won't steal your GHDs and break them by wrapping the cord the wrong way. They won't finish your favourite pan in your Naked Pallette, they won't use up your £29.50 a tub night cream (okay they might test all these things while home alone but they won't finish them)! 

• Boys will actually just let you decorate the whole place yourself, so go crazy with those unicorn hangings, and stuffed toys, THEY REALLY DON'T CARE! (It's a swings and roundabouts kind of thing).

Of course all of these can be true or false, for girls or boys. That's the joy of being human and being unique. So please do take this post with a pinch of salt and just laugh at the fact that throughout my life I have had the "pleasure" of dealing with all of the above, whilst living with a boy! 

Much Love

AJ 

xx